Sunday, April 11, 2010

The Title of this Blog

The title of this blog is a twist on the saying, "When you meet the Buddha, kill the Buddha." I've met and followed the 'outer' Buddha in the form of a one-time professor turned philosopher, an enlightened Vietnamese woman, a highly revered Indian master, a Midwestern man who founded a successful church and a woman from the desert who one day "woke up."

To paraphrase a popular song, "they all sang a good song, they all had a style, and I came to see all of them, to listen for awhile." I loved what they were saying; I loved reading their teachings. The trouble is, instead of 'killing' them, I made their words, their ideas, their beliefs more important than my own. I wanted their love and their acceptance. I wanted to belong, and I put all of them on pedestals, expecting THEM to give me the answers, save me, make my life amazing. Instead of turning to my own Buddha nature, I followed theirs.

Please don't misunderstand me. I am VERY grateful for the words of these amazing masters. They have all, each and every one of them, been examples of following the inner Buddha. It's just that when my inner voice disagreed with theirs, I made theirs the one that mattered.

I tell my clients that their answers are inside them. Well, I'm finally ready to listen to my own good sense and find the Buddha within; and that feels amazing and scary all at once. What will happen if I go inside and listen to my own counsel? What will happen if I make that still, small voice inside of me the final word? Only the actual journey will tell, and I'm excited to be on it.

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