Whatever Form Appears

Question:  Given your non-dual realisation, can you identify what was the essential factor, method or practice that allowed you to notice or realise your natural, non-dual state of being or realisation in a permanent way? Does remaining in non-dual awareness, for you, require effort, or is it effortlessly spontaneous? I have practiced meditation and studied in many traditions for many years. I have made good progress, with many non-dual realisations through time. However, I have not been able to realise my essential nature in a permanent, stable manner. Buddhist meditation is my main practice, however, I am very interested to [know] how I can permanently realise Self with instruction from any and all traditions and those who are awake. How to do this? I know that I am the absolute and utterly complete. There remains that disconnect, however subtle, that is an apparent barrier to recognising here and now, all that I am.



Answer: There is a flaw in the question you ask, which is leading you down a dead-end road, and this is creating the apparent barrier of which you write. You ask if there was a method or practice I used to notice or realize my non-dual nature and you ask how you can do this. The flaw is the use of the words "you" and "I". Having nondual awareness is not something that "you" can do. It is not something that "I" did. Nondual awareness just happens (and feeling separate also just happens). 


A more effective question might be, "What or Who is It that has or does not have nondual awareness?" Ask yourself, "Who is It that is using a method or practice? What is It that is trying to realize Its non-dual state of being? Who or What has practiced meditation, studied in many traditions and made good progress?" Isn't the One "with many non-dual realisations through time" the same One who has "not been able to realize Its essential nature"? 


The answer to all these questions is the same--It is (as the sages have said through time) the One, the Absolute.  No matter which state is appearing--nondual realization or a sense of separation--it is not "you" experiencing it, nor is it "you" causing it. It is the Absolute. It is never NOT the Absolute. 


When you say, "There remains that disconnect, however subtle, that is an apparent barrier to recognising here and now, all that I am," you are failing to recognize that "all that you are" in any moment is what appears in that moment, whether what appears is nondual awareness, a feeling of separation, or any other thought, state or emotion. "You" are simply a manifestation of the Absolute, and sometimes "you" are aware of that and sometimes "you" are not. And "you" is always and only a manifestation of the Absolute, whether "you" realize it or not. 


Realize that nondual awareness will not change what appears by one iota. "You" will not suddenly have continuous, uninterrupted nondual awareness, continual bliss or continual anything, because when nondual awareness shows up, the "you" that sees one state as 'enlightened' and one state as 'unenlightened' will no longer exist. All states (and all experiences for that matter) are manifestations of the One--nothing more, nothing less.  


Therefore, longing, seeking, meditation practice, awareness, non-awareness (even the experience of "you") may continue to appear. And "you" have not been, nor will "you" ever be the one experiencing it or causing it. There is nothing that "you" can do--no method, no practice, no meditation, no belief--to get yourself there, because "you" are already That; That is already "you," in whatever form (thought, state of being, awareness, emotion, physicality) that appears.