Separation

Today I heard a comment like, "Separation causes suffering." Many in the room were quite quick to agree and there was much nodding of heads and murmured yeses. Separation is looked at as something to overcome; an undesirable, unrealized state of being. While it is so that "separation causes suffering," it seems that a vital understanding of what separation really "causes" is often overlooked.

What is experienced here, these days, is that separation causes everything. Without separation, nothing would appear to exist. Separation causes all phenomena to appear, so, yes, separation causes suffering; and it also causes joy, happiness, sorrow, me, you, rocks, trees, other, birds, love, hate...all apparent objects, feelings, thoughts, etc. exist, because of the apparently separated "I". In short, separation causes life.

It is because of this idea of separation that "I" experience beautiful sunsets, birds singing, the embrace of another, the sting of rejection, the pain of acid reflux, aging in the body, a solar eclipse, being flipped off by another driver, and on and on and on.

Separation is not a "state of being" to be overcome. It's not a feeling that needs to be conquered. It's what allows It/Me/One to experience Itself/Myself/InfiniteForms.

With separation: life, existence, phenomena. Without separation--the undifferentiated void.

Death?

Q: Do you have any sense or knowing of what happens when we die; when the form dies?

A: The answer to your question lies in the answer to this question: “When we die, who or what is it that has died?” In the relative world, the world of duality, we are taught to see ourselves as “me”, and we are taught that anything that is not “me” is “you”. Therefore, we experience separation. We literally experience a feeling of being separate from everything around us. We experience this separateness in the form of thoughts of separation, like “I am this.” “He is that.” Or, as you state: “I am a mother, those are my children.” Or “He is my son.” Or “She is my daughter.”  

I believe the way we are taught to see ourselves as a separate being is the mechanism that allows us to experience life and the so-called world. The pain happens when we forget that we were taught to view the world this way, but what we were taught is not the truth.

Can you remember the first time that you believed that you were a separate self? Can you remember what life was like before you believed in “I”? My experience is that “Natalie” was born the moment the “I” thought was first believed. Before that, “I” did not exist. I cannot find “me” before that. As far as I can tell, I did not exist until the first moment I believed in “I”. Until that moment, no one was identifying itself as “Natalie”, a separate being, so there was no sense of separation, no sense of pain, no sense of happiness, no sense at all.

Then, for whatever reason, the sense of “Natalie” as a separate person was born. As soon as that happened, so did all the rest of the world (e.g., mother, father, sister, brother, happiness, sadness, dogs, kittens, school, etc.). And in that moment, “Natalie” became someone who had been born, who was living, and would therefore, subsequently die. However, what is it that really dies? If “Natalie” is nothing more than a concept of a separate being, then the only thing that dies is a concept. “Natalie” as a person can never die, because “Natalie” as a separate person only ever existed as a concept in my head.

In other words, “I” have never been separate from the original source, except in my own mind. That belief that “I” am separate no longer exists, therefore, “Natalie” no longer exists. She has died.

Your son existed for you as something separate from “you” (and from all others). What if your son has never been separate from you, because “you” have never been anything but an idea, born from your conditioning? Without your idea that “you” are a separate entity, and “you” gave birth to another separate entity called “John”, what is it that has died? Without the separating belief of “you” and “John”, aren’t you simply source? Aren’t you and John simply different names for the same thing? Isn’t John simply a name given to source? As your name was given to you, which “you” believe is separate, but which is just a name?

What if “Mary” and “John” and “Ginny” are all just names that stand for the different forms of Source? If “John” is a name for Source, and Source is what you also are, what, really has been lost? How could anything or anyone die?

My heart is with you. Peace to you, Mary.

Whatever Form Appears

Question:  Given your non-dual realisation, can you identify what was the essential factor, method or practice that allowed you to notice or realise your natural, non-dual state of being or realisation in a permanent way? Does remaining in non-dual awareness, for you, require effort, or is it effortlessly spontaneous? I have practiced meditation and studied in many traditions for many years. I have made good progress, with many non-dual realisations through time. However, I have not been able to realise my essential nature in a permanent, stable manner. Buddhist meditation is my main practice, however, I am very interested to [know] how I can permanently realise Self with instruction from any and all traditions and those who are awake. How to do this? I know that I am the absolute and utterly complete. There remains that disconnect, however subtle, that is an apparent barrier to recognising here and now, all that I am.



Answer: There is a flaw in the question you ask, which is leading you down a dead-end road, and this is creating the apparent barrier of which you write. You ask if there was a method or practice I used to notice or realize my non-dual nature and you ask how you can do this. The flaw is the use of the words "you" and "I". Having nondual awareness is not something that "you" can do. It is not something that "I" did. Nondual awareness just happens (and feeling separate also just happens). 


A more effective question might be, "What or Who is It that has or does not have nondual awareness?" Ask yourself, "Who is It that is using a method or practice? What is It that is trying to realize Its non-dual state of being? Who or What has practiced meditation, studied in many traditions and made good progress?" Isn't the One "with many non-dual realisations through time" the same One who has "not been able to realize Its essential nature"? 


The answer to all these questions is the same--It is (as the sages have said through time) the One, the Absolute.  No matter which state is appearing--nondual realization or a sense of separation--it is not "you" experiencing it, nor is it "you" causing it. It is the Absolute. It is never NOT the Absolute. 


When you say, "There remains that disconnect, however subtle, that is an apparent barrier to recognising here and now, all that I am," you are failing to recognize that "all that you are" in any moment is what appears in that moment, whether what appears is nondual awareness, a feeling of separation, or any other thought, state or emotion. "You" are simply a manifestation of the Absolute, and sometimes "you" are aware of that and sometimes "you" are not. And "you" is always and only a manifestation of the Absolute, whether "you" realize it or not. 


Realize that nondual awareness will not change what appears by one iota. "You" will not suddenly have continuous, uninterrupted nondual awareness, continual bliss or continual anything, because when nondual awareness shows up, the "you" that sees one state as 'enlightened' and one state as 'unenlightened' will no longer exist. All states (and all experiences for that matter) are manifestations of the One--nothing more, nothing less.  


Therefore, longing, seeking, meditation practice, awareness, non-awareness (even the experience of "you") may continue to appear. And "you" have not been, nor will "you" ever be the one experiencing it or causing it. There is nothing that "you" can do--no method, no practice, no meditation, no belief--to get yourself there, because "you" are already That; That is already "you," in whatever form (thought, state of being, awareness, emotion, physicality) that appears. 

Freedom...

"I" am whatever shows up in this moment. If there is any such thing as freedom--and there isn't--it is realizing that.

I say there is no such thing as freedom, because "I" cannot possibly know how "I" will think, act or feel--ever! I cannot control that. I cannot manage it. I cannot predict it. I cannot change it.

I used to believe that I controlled myself; that I was in charge of my reactions, my emotions, my thoughts. I actually believed that "I" was the power that ran "me," that "I" was in charge of myself. I spent a lot of effort trying to control this "me," only to be frustrated over and over again. I spent a lot of time and money attending workshops on how to manage myself, manage others, manage my expectations, manage my thoughts, manage my emotions, become empowered, help myself. Now, I understand that "I" have no power to manage or control anything, because "I"--the collection of beliefs, thoughts, emotions and behaviors I think of as Natalie--doesn't exist. In fact, it never existed.

Now I understand that all there is is the One, manifesting itself in each moment. There is no separation from that, and there is no way to know or control how It will appear.

Because of that, there is a kind of suspenseful wonder, a holding of the breath. What will the Absolute, masquerading as "I", do next? What will "I" think? How will "I" react? It is thrilling to realize that "I" never had control--of anything--and to understand that "I" never will. Perhaps that is the real freedom...

Perfection

Perfect--what I am. I used to strive and strive to be perfect, never guessing never knowing that I already was what I wanted. Now I know there is no other way to be. It is not possible for me to be less than perfect.

Perfect--what everyone else is, as well. I used to believe that others were flawed, wrong, at fault, evil. Now I know it is not possible for anyone to be less than perfect. And even the beliefs that would say we are, are perfect.

Perfect--what happens in each moment. I remember struggling to control events, people, time itself. Things were either not good enough or too good and gone too soon. Now I know that whatever happens--and I mean WHATEVER--perfect. Even feeling that this moment is less than perfect--perfection!

Perfect--the world, the universe, all that is.  It is not possible for anything, anyone, any moment to be other than perfect. Not possible.

Some definitions for perfect (from the Google online dictionary):

• Having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be
• Free from any flaw or defect in condition or quality; faultless
• Precisely accurate; exact
• Highly suitable for someone or something; exactly right
• Absolute; complete

Perfect--synonymous with complete, consummate, utter, lacking nothing, cannot be improved upon, total, flawless, ideal. Absolute.