Expectation

Are you expecting non-dual realization to look like something in particular?
     Yes, I was expecting it to be the end of suffering.
Do you suppose that realization of the nondual nature of all will end suffering?
     Yes, I thought so. I was thinking that non-dual realisation would end suffering and would change experience in some way, like maybe there would be an experience of love.

If you are expecting realization to be something other than what you are experiencing now then you will miss it. Realization is understanding that there is only THIS, whatever THIS is. All there is, is what is happening right now, and right now, and right now--WHATEVER that is. And all that is, is the One/God/Life/the Source expressing Itself as the infinite variety of forms that appear in the world. What you are looking for is already here, right here, right now. You are already IT. You cannot be not IT. Nothing and no one cannot be not IT. There is nothing that IT is not and there is nothing that is NOT it.

Please understand that when I say that, I mean it literally and I mean EVERYTHING--thoughts, feelings, emotions, people, animals, things, ideas, etc. ALL are IT appearing in these supposedly separate forms.

Realizing the nondual nature of all does not mean an end to those things that we think of as negative or bad or wrong. Those are labels that are applied to some of the forms that the Infinite expresses Itself as.  Who says that you are suffering? What is it that is suffering? If there is nothing but the One, what then is it, that is suffering? Even the idea that you are a separate being, experiencing suffering, is merely the One experiencing Itself as a separate being experiencing suffering.

Again, please understand that I am not merely being flip or casual. The illusion that we will somehow experience the end of suffering, the end of negativity, the beginning of endless bliss, are deeply ingrained in some of us. I am being direct, because that is what it takes to see this. The willingness to give up EVERY concept, EVERY idea that there is anything other than THIS, that nondual realization will change ANYTHING or has any relevance. 

You say that you thought  nondual realization might bring an experience of love? It will, but not the love that most of us think of as love. It will be love in the form of a complete and utter knowing that whatever appears is okay, does not need to be changed, does not need to be fixed. It is complete and total surrender to whatever is happening (and YOU are not the one surrendering, because YOU will no longer exist). It is the complete and utter infatuation and fascination with Itself.

Death?

Q: Do you have any sense or knowing of what happens when we die; when the form dies?

A: The answer to your question lies in the answer to this question: “When we die, who or what is it that has died?” In the relative world, the world of duality, we are taught to see ourselves as “me”, and we are taught that anything that is not “me” is “you”. Therefore, we experience separation. We literally experience a feeling of being separate from everything around us. We experience this separateness in the form of thoughts of separation, like “I am this.” “He is that.” Or, as you state: “I am a mother, those are my children.” Or “He is my son.” Or “She is my daughter.”  

I believe the way we are taught to see ourselves as a separate being is the mechanism that allows us to experience life and the so-called world. The pain happens when we forget that we were taught to view the world this way, but what we were taught is not the truth.

Can you remember the first time that you believed that you were a separate self? Can you remember what life was like before you believed in “I”? My experience is that “Natalie” was born the moment the “I” thought was first believed. Before that, “I” did not exist. I cannot find “me” before that. As far as I can tell, I did not exist until the first moment I believed in “I”. Until that moment, no one was identifying itself as “Natalie”, a separate being, so there was no sense of separation, no sense of pain, no sense of happiness, no sense at all.

Then, for whatever reason, the sense of “Natalie” as a separate person was born. As soon as that happened, so did all the rest of the world (e.g., mother, father, sister, brother, happiness, sadness, dogs, kittens, school, etc.). And in that moment, “Natalie” became someone who had been born, who was living, and would therefore, subsequently die. However, what is it that really dies? If “Natalie” is nothing more than a concept of a separate being, then the only thing that dies is a concept. “Natalie” as a person can never die, because “Natalie” as a separate person only ever existed as a concept in my head.

In other words, “I” have never been separate from the original source, except in my own mind. That belief that “I” am separate no longer exists, therefore, “Natalie” no longer exists. She has died.

Your son existed for you as something separate from “you” (and from all others). What if your son has never been separate from you, because “you” have never been anything but an idea, born from your conditioning? Without your idea that “you” are a separate entity, and “you” gave birth to another separate entity called “John”, what is it that has died? Without the separating belief of “you” and “John”, aren’t you simply source? Aren’t you and John simply different names for the same thing? Isn’t John simply a name given to source? As your name was given to you, which “you” believe is separate, but which is just a name?

What if “Mary” and “John” and “Ginny” are all just names that stand for the different forms of Source? If “John” is a name for Source, and Source is what you also are, what, really has been lost? How could anything or anyone die?

My heart is with you. Peace to you, Mary.

Interview on Buddha at the Gas Pump

To a Friend...

Hi B,

Sorry to be so long in answering. I was trying to think of how best to answer your questions.

Advaita is not a concept for me, it's a reality. There is nothing but the One; and all is going as it should. Since it is a reality, there is no practice. In fact, there is nothing to practice. I mean, in all honesty, what would "I" practice? There is no longer any belief that "I" exist, apart from the One. There is seriously no thing that believes itself to be Natalie any longer, even though "I" answer to that name and seem to be experiencing a life that is "hers."

Apologies if I sound flip. I assure you, that is not the intention. Since you are a follower of Advaita and read the nondual literature, I am speaking to you as bluntly and "truthfully" as "I" know how to do so, coming from the experience that appears to be happening now. Words no longer work well to describe this, and they never really have.

There's a nonduality group that I began attending last year in September. I like to attend the meetings, because the members are serious about waking up (finally seeing that there is nothing but God/the One), and are committed to getting rid of everything that doesn't support that, including doctrines, philosophies, ideas, practices, etc. To realize that God is All means being willing to die to let everything die!

How about you, B? What are you willing to give up to finally realize that there is nothing but God; meaning are you willing to give up "you" as a separate entity? "You"; everything that you think of as "you" (thoughts, feelings, beliefs, practices, will, actions, directive, soul, etc.). Are you willing to give that up to understand that "you" are God, masquerading as "B" and that all those things you think "you" need to find the truth are really God experiencing Itself as that? Realization is so simple that it is overlooked again and again. Nothing but God, and not even that.

Nondual Awareness: How Did You Do It?

Got an excellent question from someone. Here's how I responded.

Whatever Form Appears

Question:  Given your non-dual realisation, can you identify what was the essential factor, method or practice that allowed you to notice or realise your natural, non-dual state of being or realisation in a permanent way? Does remaining in non-dual awareness, for you, require effort, or is it effortlessly spontaneous? I have practiced meditation and studied in many traditions for many years. I have made good progress, with many non-dual realisations through time. However, I have not been able to realise my essential nature in a permanent, stable manner. Buddhist meditation is my main practice, however, I am very interested to [know] how I can permanently realise Self with instruction from any and all traditions and those who are awake. How to do this? I know that I am the absolute and utterly complete. There remains that disconnect, however subtle, that is an apparent barrier to recognising here and now, all that I am.



Answer: There is a flaw in the question you ask, which is leading you down a dead-end road, and this is creating the apparent barrier of which you write. You ask if there was a method or practice I used to notice or realize my non-dual nature and you ask how you can do this. The flaw is the use of the words "you" and "I". Having nondual awareness is not something that "you" can do. It is not something that "I" did. Nondual awareness just happens (and feeling separate also just happens). 


A more effective question might be, "What or Who is It that has or does not have nondual awareness?" Ask yourself, "Who is It that is using a method or practice? What is It that is trying to realize Its non-dual state of being? Who or What has practiced meditation, studied in many traditions and made good progress?" Isn't the One "with many non-dual realisations through time" the same One who has "not been able to realize Its essential nature"? 


The answer to all these questions is the same--It is (as the sages have said through time) the One, the Absolute.  No matter which state is appearing--nondual realization or a sense of separation--it is not "you" experiencing it, nor is it "you" causing it. It is the Absolute. It is never NOT the Absolute. 


When you say, "There remains that disconnect, however subtle, that is an apparent barrier to recognising here and now, all that I am," you are failing to recognize that "all that you are" in any moment is what appears in that moment, whether what appears is nondual awareness, a feeling of separation, or any other thought, state or emotion. "You" are simply a manifestation of the Absolute, and sometimes "you" are aware of that and sometimes "you" are not. And "you" is always and only a manifestation of the Absolute, whether "you" realize it or not. 


Realize that nondual awareness will not change what appears by one iota. "You" will not suddenly have continuous, uninterrupted nondual awareness, continual bliss or continual anything, because when nondual awareness shows up, the "you" that sees one state as 'enlightened' and one state as 'unenlightened' will no longer exist. All states (and all experiences for that matter) are manifestations of the One--nothing more, nothing less.  


Therefore, longing, seeking, meditation practice, awareness, non-awareness (even the experience of "you") may continue to appear. And "you" have not been, nor will "you" ever be the one experiencing it or causing it. There is nothing that "you" can do--no method, no practice, no meditation, no belief--to get yourself there, because "you" are already That; That is already "you," in whatever form (thought, state of being, awareness, emotion, physicality) that appears. 

Relentless Reality

Reality is relentless. There is no escaping It. We can wish with all our hearts that things, events, people, or emotions were different, and that won't make one iota of difference to the unfolding of Reality.